Feeling very creatively stuck right now. The week has been ridiculously productive – after that short stumble on Sunday, I have managed to go above and beyond my word-count quota every single day. Except today. There’s no real reason for this. I spent the morning in a coffeeshop, rather than at my usual table, looking out the window. I had my coffee this morning, and it was even reasonable coffeeshop coffee, rather than what I make. I probably haven’t had enough sleep, but I never have enough sleep. Kid 1 slept through the night, and while baby 2 is making me uncomfortable, it’s certainly no more so than usual. Due to my coffeeshop drop-off this morning, I even got in a short walk this morning coming home…and with the weather the way it is, it’s unlikely I would have left my house otherwise.
The story itself isn’t the issue either. I know where I am in the plot, I know exactly what happens next. This is not one of those dreaded issues or bottlenecks that I’m sure will be upcoming. The words themselves just aren’t there. When they do come, they’re plodding, annoying to me. There’s no lyricism in them and that makes them both difficult to write and irritating to read over.
I’ve taken breaks. I went and read some more of Daemon Prism (which, while wonderful, makes my current lack of lyricism feel particularly glaring). I took my walk. I emailed some friends. Hell, I even went and made myself a smoothie instead of throwing myself into the familiar comfort of coffee and (mostly likely) cookies. (that being said, coffee is likely to follow said smoothie).
I’m beginning to wonder if I’m putting too much pressure on myself, if I should try to cut my wordcount down…not a lot, just a little…so that I can concentrate more on crafting the work rather than just writing down words. Don’t get me wrong, I’m pleased with what I’ve done up to this point. But I want to make sure that I’m working with the skill I know I’m capable of. Of course, the thought of cutting down wordcount scares me because it means first draft might not be done by baby 2. And that worries me quite a bit.
And yes, I recognize that there’s a good chance that this pressure and stress is contributing to this (hopefully temporary) dry spell.
Mostly I feel like my Muse, my truly creative and inspired side, has decided to take a rather determined nap. And while I feel that she likely needs to be poked, probably with something sharp, I’m more than willing to listen to suggestions of other ways I might wake her up.